there is a place 

with no face 

or no trace 

left behind 

a place 

in my mind 

that I am able

to find 

by closing 

my eyes 

for this is how 

I recognize 

that we are all 

more blind

with open eyes

than we may even


The kind 

I think that I may be in love 

The kind that is unexpected and terrifying and vulnerable and gentle and exciting and free

The kind that allows you to see the world through your best set of eyes 

With the clearest of vision 

The kind that reminds you that this feeling inside your chest and your bones that has been in a coma for much too long has finally been awakened 

The kind that allows you to see yourself from a new perspective because your are whole and you are alive and you are well and you are happy and you are loved and you are grateful 

The kind that we search aimlessly for and never come to find 

The kind that has now taught me that the reason we never come to find it is because we hardly ever look first, within ourselves for all it is we desire 

The kind of remarkably, extraordinary and liberating love that I have now 

With no one

But the one person I know with certainty deserves it 



June stares at me with angry eyes

For she is almost half way gone yet I have not made a mess of things the way I usually do 

Maybe she knows that May came to me with frantic hands, destined to be held and I had little to no hesitation filling the space in her sweaty palms

For April came and went too quickly, yet I still smell her in the air from time to time 

A sweet reminder that another year will come and she will always come around to age me once more until this life has had enough of celebrating my reckless soul 

Because March showed me that recklessness is almost key when approaching the crossroads of transformation 

February provided me with the utmost strength and though I have since been weak I have never broken again the way I did back then

And for this I am most grateful 

January I fell in love and she has shamed me for it ever since 

And thus the catalyst for June’s anger 

For she has tested me to see what I am made of

And so far 

I am made of wholesomeness 

I am made of fright 

I am made of consciousness 

I am made of light 

Even when months come 

And seasons go 

I am evolving 


In to someone 

You can never truly know 

For I am ever changing

In the madness 

Of the certainty

That often comes 

With having once been 


The way

At times when I start to become lost in too many (sometimes negative) emotions, I remind myself of this view 

I go back to when, in one tiny moment, I was able to acknowledge and understand with clarity, the way we are all one 

The way this life is far larger of a concept than we could ever possibly begin to imagine, the way we all know what it is to feel pain and suffering in our own way but for some reason act as though our pain and suffering is greater than that of others 

The way we tend to forget that all heartache is felt the exact same way, it is what pains us and shakes us that we are different because perception is personal, it is not a shared lens 

The way we may not learn the first time, so we lean toward the fire a final time, just to see if maybe this time we avoid the burn 

The way, it feels to be awakened and enlightened in a split second 

The way I know we have all felt at one time or another 

Yet the way, we fail to integrate the spectacular view of awakening, in to our every day lives 

Those who leave 

I read somewhere once that the people who leave don’t matter as much as the ones who stay 

And I feel it necessary to argue with this 

The people who leave, they are the ones that have created the acknowledgement of the ones who have not 

They are the ones that create the pain or emptiness or bitterness toward any and all things beautiful and it is the ones who stay that make us see the beauty in this life again 

The ones who leave become the foundation of our strength because we can not attract a true tribe through weakness 

The ones who leave are the heavy foot on the pedal that gets us to start going, with force, toward all we are truly being called to 

The ones who leave remind us that even our best days see their end and the people who stay are the magic in each sunrise we are able to still witness because we haven’t given up yet 

The souls who leave us, never actually leave us

We are all eternally connected, we are all one operating as different parts of a larger source of energy that most of us are too fearful to try and understand 

But the truth in the matter is 

Even when you feel empty because someone has left you, know that this is almost, always a siren for the soul to be awakened in some small way 

Create lessons out of let downs 

Make dreams out of nightmares 

Let the ones who leave, go 

Allow the ones who stay

To see you grow and evolve 

Become the reason people begin to believe 

In loving those who have left

For they are the fire

In our soul 

That ignites by letting go

They are the reason

We transform 


Reflecting on the last 30 days I have found the meaning behind the curse of truth 

To have exposed so much of myself at once to my own self leaves me level headed and aligned with all that I am and all that I am not

I see how things come to be before they come to be 

I understand the answers to questions that have not yet been asked 

I see the fright and insecurities of the many around me and how easy it would be for me to return to this same state 

But within my last true encounter with all that truly is, I vowed to the universe within me that I would stay true and that I would accept all that is and resist making excuses for everything that has not been beneficial 

For all that has not been here in my best interest has taught me the difference in being in tune with my inner guide and neglecting the gift of intuition 

All that has not been positive has shifted my perspective to see the beauty in all terrible things 

For in the terrible things I found that there is light and love in all of us 

But some of us will always be too easily terrified of death or true love or anything that has the ability to shake us and change us and force us, with unforgivable might, in the very direction we are sometimes reluctant to travel 

The point I have come be most comfortable with in this life is that at times, it is terribly bittersweet to be able to see so much truth in all of the things we once had false illusions of 

It is terribly bittersweet to see the fruition of the reality that some things we see and are certain of, are only just ideas we have made up in our mind due to the false perception that has been created by experiences that we saw only through the lens of lust or superficial love 

It is terribly bittersweet to see only human in those we once thought were in alignment with their souls 


I am forever grateful 

For the awakening within

I will never complain 

About the gift of enlightenment 

Although I must say 

In the most genuine way

That it has been quite challenging 

To unsee 

What I can now see 

So clearly 

In every being around me 

I no longer see the surface 

The character

Not even the self taught identity 

All I see now 

Is intention 

And with this 

I feel I have returned 

Back to humble understanding

That we are all after something 

But most of us 

Truly lack the courage that it takes

To live as our authentic selves 

It is difficult 

To see 

Through awakening 

How many would rather 

Still sleep 


Since my encounter with Mother Aya it has been nearly impossible to think about much else 

There are days where I wake before the sun and I watch the sky slowly transition from midnight darkness to the light of the morning and I feel overwhelmed by every fiber within me that is now able to see with clarity just how fortunate I am each day I wake to live here in this physical plane of existence 

The ego has completely settled in a comfortable place where it tends to only surface when I am starting to lose sight of the bigger picture 

It still takes some reminders to cease the doubts or confusion

It still takes constant awareness for how easy it would be to return to the way I once was 

Experiencing a rebirth doesn’t always mean you are effortlessly new 

I consciously have to slow my stride and practice patience by the acknowledgement of the very fact that time is a beautiful illusion and that this place where I am from and will one day return to is eternal 

I understand the meaning behind all of us being one

We are all united and we are direct representations of one another in some way 

Understanding myself means understanding all of those here with me and respecting them as a extension of who I have been, who I am now and who I will evolve in to 

I will trust my judgement and my intuition, even when it is emotionally painful because I am more aware than ever that my perspective has changed for a reason through the eyes of Mother Aya 

And with this I feel a gift and a curse all at once 

I feel that I am able to see with so much clarity all of the many things I was blinded by 

And even though I am thankful, I am beginning to see the difficulty in knowing that I cannot continue onward down certain roads I have been traveling

With this I am left with the burdening power of walking away from paths I thought would certainly lead me in the right direction 

This is why I never fail to mention that the power of plant medicine is not for the faint hearted 

You will come to be reborn in tougher skin than ever before 

A heart that is unattached for it is in a state of full awareness of all of the inevitable impermanence here 

A soul that is never reckless or selfish but eager to be free, one that stops at nothing to be able to march to the beat of its own drum 

So get in my way 

I say 

I ask this life to bring it 

In full force 

Because I am ready 

To be tested 

So I can learn 

And see 

What I am really made of 

What I have come to be 


Here I am without any needs

For the universe has taught me 

That all I am after is already within me 

All that I have ever felt I needed

I am able to provide for myself 

In this constant state of awareness 

I realize the importance of marching onward 

With a slower pace 

With a steady pulse 

With a open mind 

This is how I am able to be free now 

For I am able to witness 

The ways in which we all are 

And how and why it may be 

That some of us are still confused 

Blinded by the perception of self 

Attempting to make sense of the ego 

When instead we should let go of the very culprit that is home to our fear, anger and panic 

Let go 

So the curtain may lift 

So the blinds may open

So the doors may unlock 

So you are able to go forth 

With compassion

With acceptance 

With happiness and freedom

Go forth 

With your consciousness 

Let it take your reluctant hands 

And guide you to this place 

Where the entirety of the universe 

Makes perfect sense 

Where you see that any and all people

No matter how different or difficult to understand

Are all here and now in this moment

Waiting to teach you something 

Every day when your eyes open for the first time 

Pay a great deal of gratitude to this life 

And to the soul within you 

For allowing another rebirth 

For allowing the opportunity 

To wake to a new day 

With a fresh set of eyes 

To make something new

Of yourself and the world around you 

Now is the time to notice 

That everything is perfect 

Even when trapped in darkness 

And everything is well on its way 

To give you exactly what it is you need the most

But it is up to you to find 

That all of this 

The entire universe 

Is already within reach

Look within yourself

And you will find 

That nothing else is required 

Other than tuning in 

And becoming aligned 

With our inner guide 

Our intuition 

Our consciousness 

Let go of all you think you may know 

Release the identity you’ve given yourself

For it is conditioned by false perception 

Be free enough 

To live without worry now 

Because it is easy to see 

The ways the ego 

Plays tricks on us 

To keep us heading in the wrong direction 

Or to keep us weighed down with bitterness and doubt


The potential that becomes unlocked

When allowing yourself 

To walk away from yourself 

And all that you think you know 

For it is likely 

That you know very little yet 

And your own ruler 

Is waiting patiently

To be heard 

So tune in 

And leave out 

All of the whispers 

That are lacing you with doubt 

Self love 

Allow me to clear from your tainted eyes, the illusion that love has come to be for us all 

If I have ever loved you know that I love you still 

And I will likely continue to do so until this body gives way and it is laid to rest 

This is why the idea 

And the concept of being bound by the restraints of today’s love is not and never will be beneficial or even sought after by a soul like mine 

I am without freedom in a place that others define as love and I can’t help but to feel sympathy for those who are still so confused 

I have learned that love is kind and patient and understanding 

It is acceptance from another and a promise to never tame your wild wings from flight 

It is certainty that the one who is by your side will remain so even when you have fallen in to the darkness again

For love, is a soul that can see in the dark for this is the very place it comes from 

It is the light at the end of the tunnel that often goes unseen by the beholder because it is seemingly too far away 

It is all of the ways your heart has broken to only mend no matter how impossible it once seemed 

It is the tears that have been shed and forgotten because it knows to never dwell in the past 

It is without judgement for the mistakes you may have made because love knows no mistakes 

But instead lessons that were needed for the sake of evolving 

It is the way you can oftentimes see good in those that behave questionably 

For love 

Is just a simple touch 

A gentle reminder 

That we have all been blinded before 

We have all been bent and broken

We have fought in wars and lost ourselves in the process

But we have always come out alive 

And this is because love 

Is still teaching us 

That it starts within 

And until the love of self 

Becomes the greatest one of all 

We will remain broken 

And confused 

And disappointed 

By shamelessly attempting to give 

Something we do not yet have