Freedom

With unclenched fists 

I stand 

Finally 

The grip I once had on all the things I desperately clung to 

The grip that was nearly suffocating the selflessness out of my being 

The grip that has also had me by the throat too many times 

I breathe effortlessly now that I have selflessly let go 

There is impermanence in all we know

No one thing is meant to stay 

No one being is meant to be followed or chased 

Nothing is meant for permanence 

It is much too often that I think about all the ways humans are loving the wrong way 

How simple and beautiful love would be if we realized that love is not about control 

Love is not about taking another and making them yours

Love is not about loving so intensely that it becomes consumed with worry and fear of the inevitable loss that will eventually come 

Love is about love 

Love is to acknowledge that it is ever changing 

This is why each love we have ever encountered is different from the next 

And rightfully so 

I feel it is the need for growth and transformation that forces us to go through obstacles of the heart 

This is why heartache will come 

Brokenness will surface

Sadness will set in 

But we all must remember that if we practice the beauty in all things being impermanent 

If we recognize that everything that enters will eventually exit

then we may be able to love in a way that allows us to coexist without the need for pressure and expectations

Coming to terms with the fact that all things are meant to end, even the things that seem as if they are only meant specifically for us 

All of it must be let go of

At some point 

In some way 

The time will come to let go 

How terrified I once was of that simple gesture 

Letting go

But now 

I stand 

With unclenched fists 

Unburdened shoulders 

And freedom in my soul 

Fire 

There is a shift ahead and I am ready to embrace all it is that is meant for me

I barely see the answers strung across the sky like small wildfires that are lighting my way

There is a part of me that wishes to watch from afar as my world goes up in flames

A part of me that wishes to simply sit in the middle of the chaos and watch all I know crumble and fall at my feet

A part of me that wishes to walk atop the ashes and debris, on the way to something that would have to be better than all of this

But with truth comes freedom

And with pain comes wisdom

So here I am

Ready and willing

Give me the truth

Ignite the universe within me

Chase away the brutal chill in my heart

I am ready to face defeat

I am already on my feet

I am ready to feel the heat

Let go & let be 

It takes courage and all around fearlessness to be consumed with so much love for yourself that you proudly but gently walk away from those who just do not favor you or your journey or your wild heart

It took me some time to learn that it is not about love and what it seems or how you thought it would be or how you think it should be

Love is about exactly how it is

You must take it in just the way it appears before you

You should never wait or wonder why it is you give so much love but you are not getting the same in return

Recently, my heart and my soul felt like both were suffering at the hands of someone I feel hardly even know

I was shaken to a point that made me feel as if I would never return back to who I was, life would never be the same and I would never be able to love again, at least not with the meaning and intensity I once had within me

And I was right

I was so, so right

My life hasn’t been the same and I haven’t even considered trying to love again

The truth is that I am only human and like most people I instantly and frantically search for something, anything to fill the void

I allowed myself to become open to strangers and before long I was inviting people in to my life simply out of fear that once I was alone, my demons would surface and I just wasn’t ready to dance with them

But the time eventually came when I realized that my wounds are too fresh and my heart needs help that only I can provide

I stopped feeling sorry for myself

I stopped hoping and wishing and even begging to be with someone who will always be this way

Distant and hypocritical

Silent and cowardly so

I realized that even if, by some miracle, this person came to their senses and really truly parted with their own self destructive nature and their own past, this still holds no potential for me now

You see, the image and the idea is tainted now

And the saddest thing about it all is that I knew, I knew that this would become tainted in some way

And now that it is

I have let go

It has been difficult to say the least but there are reasons for all of this

You must be patient enough to wait for those reasons to surface because once they do, you will never question your journey

You will never wonder why the inevitable heartache eventually emerges, even when you have done everything right

You will rest with love in your heart and a undying fire in your soul

Because you will know, with every painful lesson comes a enchantingly new beginning

Never force people to walk your path

Sometimes the universe will work in ways that forces you to walk alone

Acknowledging these times is key

These moments are the indicators that you are meant to fall, learn and hopefully become courageous enough to let go

and let be

Intro

There is this image

it is born far in the back of my mind but somehow it is oftentimes the only thing I am able to see with clarity

I see a home

A small space

During the day, the sun visits and makes itself at home in corners reserved for darkness

but in this home there are no such rules

there are no rules whatsoever

when the sun departs

the moon dances its way in and sends the whitest light through hallways and bedrooms that are decorated in the most magical way

My bones tell me that this is a home meant only for free spirits

this is a home that has been filled with self love and devotion

spirituality is the oxygen that fills the space here

there is a door at the end of the hall that leads to a bedroom

before a tall mirror stands a girl with her heart in her hands and galaxies in her mind

I look around to see if there is anyone else but me who may be able to help make sense of all of this

but it is just me and her

her and I

I watch from afar as I patiently wait for answers

minutes pass with very little movement but after some time she begins to cry

with a never resting stare

she watches herself fall apart

such a beautiful moment

to see even the strongest soldiers

cave in moments of war

to observe the transformation

from weak to strong

fearful to brave

defeated to undefeated

she was endlessly shaken

but forever changed

never angry

but she was perfectly mad

It’s just me and her

just her and I

 

It’s just me

That I see