Since my encounter with Mother Aya it has been nearly impossible to think about much else 

There are days where I wake before the sun and I watch the sky slowly transition from midnight darkness to the light of the morning and I feel overwhelmed by every fiber within me that is now able to see with clarity just how fortunate I am each day I wake to live here in this physical plane of existence 

The ego has completely settled in a comfortable place where it tends to only surface when I am starting to lose sight of the bigger picture 

It still takes some reminders to cease the doubts or confusion

It still takes constant awareness for how easy it would be to return to the way I once was 

Experiencing a rebirth doesn’t always mean you are effortlessly new 

I consciously have to slow my stride and practice patience by the acknowledgement of the very fact that time is a beautiful illusion and that this place where I am from and will one day return to is eternal 

I understand the meaning behind all of us being one

We are all united and we are direct representations of one another in some way 

Understanding myself means understanding all of those here with me and respecting them as a extension of who I have been, who I am now and who I will evolve in to 

I will trust my judgement and my intuition, even when it is emotionally painful because I am more aware than ever that my perspective has changed for a reason through the eyes of Mother Aya 

And with this I feel a gift and a curse all at once 

I feel that I am able to see with so much clarity all of the many things I was blinded by 

And even though I am thankful, I am beginning to see the difficulty in knowing that I cannot continue onward down certain roads I have been traveling

With this I am left with the burdening power of walking away from paths I thought would certainly lead me in the right direction 

This is why I never fail to mention that the power of plant medicine is not for the faint hearted 

You will come to be reborn in tougher skin than ever before 

A heart that is unattached for it is in a state of full awareness of all of the inevitable impermanence here 

A soul that is never reckless or selfish but eager to be free, one that stops at nothing to be able to march to the beat of its own drum 

So get in my way 

I say 

I ask this life to bring it 

In full force 

Because I am ready 

To be tested 

So I can learn 

And see 

What I am really made of 

What I have come to be 


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