It is no curse 

To feel ever so deeply 

To have fearlessness guide you to a place where it is okay 

It is okay to write 

And to free yourself from the thoughts that are running wild

Like a stampede in your mind 

The thoughts must to, break away and run 


The ones who write 

And feel and break and die a thousand times 

Just to return 

And feel with more intensity

Break with more force

And die of more heartbreak 


The ones who never regret 

Or apologize 

For the madness that fuels us 


Are painfully alive 

In a world of dead hearts 

And this is how I am reminded 

That those who are fearful of love 

Will never live a life as beautiful as this 

I am grateful 

To feel

To break

To die 

I come alive 

In the chaos 

I am saved 

By the cowards who have let go 

I am reborn 

In the absence of all I wanted 

In the presence of all I need 

In the moment 

Of triumph 


I am forever grateful to those who have walked away

I understand now, more than ever before, that time and patience are key 

To wait and to understand

I have waited 

Through the agonizing heartache 

Through the never resting confusion 

Through the end of beginnings that I once thought would never see their dying day

Now I understand

all things must be put to rest eventually 

And I have learned now to be more gracious in the process of parting 

Because with every seat someone has left empty 

Withevery door that I have closed and every bridge that I have ever burnt 

With every time I have foolishly given up on love 

With it all

Has come the most beautiful lesson 

That there is a shift in all that is ugly

There is a light in the darkness 

You must find it 

And forever cherish it 

Because light that is sought after in times of despair 

Will only guide you to places you have never been 

And souls you’ve never met 

You see 

At times we must acknowledge the moments of when our shifts takes place 

This is where the opportunity to feel again is born 

This is where the transformation from hopeless to hopeful is made 

This is where I have found that I am not meant to carry so much weight

This is where I have found that it is easier in the long run 

To stop running while trying to hold on 

It is best to stop and be still 

To observe all that I hold in my weakened palms 

To acknowledge that I am being left blistered by the burn of my grip on things not meant for me 

To finally throw all of it at my feet 

Step over it 

And walk away 

now my hands are left open and my heart is left free 

I am left 

Knowing everything is right again 


With unclenched fists 

I stand 


The grip I once had on all the things I desperately clung to 

The grip that was nearly suffocating the selflessness out of my being 

The grip that has also had me by the throat too many times 

I breathe effortlessly now that I have selflessly let go 

There is impermanence in all we know

No one thing is meant to stay 

No one being is meant to be followed or chased 

Nothing is meant for permanence 

It is much too often that I think about all the ways humans are loving the wrong way 

How simple and beautiful love would be if we realized that love is not about control 

Love is not about taking another and making them yours

Love is not about loving so intensely that it becomes consumed with worry and fear of the inevitable loss that will eventually come 

Love is about love 

Love is to acknowledge that it is ever changing 

This is why each love we have ever encountered is different from the next 

And rightfully so 

I feel it is the need for growth and transformation that forces us to go through obstacles of the heart 

This is why heartache will come 

Brokenness will surface

Sadness will set in 

But we all must remember that if we practice the beauty in all things being impermanent 

If we recognize that everything that enters will eventually exit

then we may be able to love in a way that allows us to coexist without the need for pressure and expectations

Coming to terms with the fact that all things are meant to end, even the things that seem as if they are only meant specifically for us 

All of it must be let go of

At some point 

In some way 

The time will come to let go 

How terrified I once was of that simple gesture 

Letting go

But now 

I stand 

With unclenched fists 

Unburdened shoulders 

And freedom in my soul 


There is a shift ahead and I am ready to embrace all it is that is meant for me

I barely see the answers strung across the sky like small wildfires that are lighting my way

There is a part of me that wishes to watch from afar as my world goes up in flames

A part of me that wishes to simply sit in the middle of the chaos and watch all I know crumble and fall at my feet

A part of me that wishes to walk atop the ashes and debris, on the way to something that would have to be better than all of this

But with truth comes freedom

And with pain comes wisdom

So here I am

Ready and willing

Give me the truth

Ignite the universe within me

Chase away the brutal chill in my heart

I am ready to face defeat

I am already on my feet

I am ready to feel the heat